Can Grief & Gratitude Coexist? 3 Keys To Help Get You There.
- Erin Canter

- Jan 16
- 4 min read
Updated: Aug 31
I started my new year this way:
It’s January 3rd, the beginning of a new year. I have been wide awake since 5am (which is unusual) and, as I look out the window, I see our first snow of the winter. How fitting for today. This is the day that our youngest daughter is being taken off of life support. It’s cold, silent, grey and dreary.
Will I find…can I find anything anything to be grateful for in today’s circumstances? Is it possible?
Can grief and gratitude coexist?
What happens when our world is shaken? You know…when things knock the wind out of us? What do we do when things in life happen that aren’t “supposed” to happen? Maybe it’s a loss. Perhaps it's an unexpected illness. Maybe it’s an accident or something else that is absolutely devastating. How can we be grateful within the context of hurt and pain?
Here are 3 keys to help get you there:

#1: "Put On" Gratitude
Back in October, I created a “gratitude jar” in one of my Facebook group pages. So on that day, feeling the weight of loss in my life, I had to pull from that jar. I needed to pull from that jar in order to establish a posture of thanksgiving before stepping foot into the hospital.
In fact, gratitude was the first prayer that I prayed this new year. And this is the attitude that I decided to "put on" before starting any day. This would put me in tune with heart of God, for His will is for me to "be thankful in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
When I put on this gratitude amidst my heartbreak and devastation, I began to find thankfulness every step of the way.
I was thankful for the 29 years in which I had the privilege of being a stepmom.
I was thankful for the doctors and nurses who were amazing.
I was thankful for the honor of being with Caselyn as she took her last breath. It was peaceful. For that I am most grateful.
"A spirit of thankfulness is one of the most distinctive marks of a Christian whose heart is attuned to the Lord. Thank God in the midst of trials and every persecution." Billy Graham
#2: Lean Into God
The piece of paper that I pulled from my gratitude jar asked this question: "What did you love about your parents?" I thought about my mother. She is steadfast and she stands strong in adversity. But most of all, she leans into God in times of trouble. She has taught me that no matter what happens, God is greater. He is there with me. He is my Comforter. "Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me" (Psalm 23:4). I find gratefulness in the unchanging qualities of God.
Through developing my own walk with God over the years, I have found Him faithful. I might hurt, I might not understand, But He is faithful and I trust Him. I lean into Him, especially when I struggle.
#3: Get Lost In Worship
When Job lost everything, he worshipped. Why? Because he was a worshipper in every circumstance. It is how he lived His life.
On Sunday, the worship team sang Worthy of My Song and I cried. Some of the tears were sadness and that’s okay. But most of them were just thankfulness for the Comforter who dwells inside of me. I worship Him because of who He is. He is worthy, no matter the circumstance. In good times or in bad times, I worship Him.
Worship works because it take your focus off of your problem and places it onto a mighty God! Gratefulness in who He is supersedes anything else.
So I want to encourage you today. Maybe you are facing something difficult. You don’t have to do it alone. Learn to put on gratitude…even if you need to borrow something from the jar. Lean into God. And let yourself be overwhelmed by God’s presence. Get lost while worshiping Him. You will find a place of gratitude in difficult times.
In Closing...
I included a file in the last blog called Focused Prayer for the New Year. It is a free 7 day prayer guide. I needed to make corrections on this file, so here it is again.
Reflection Room is one of my Facebook group pages. It just celebrated 8 years of devotions and Bible studies. Check it out! We are currently going through a study that I put together called The Healthy Church. It is not too late to jump into the discussion! Next month we will start a series from Life Church. If you are looking for free resources, they have studies ready to go. You can add and adjust for your audience.
Coming soon: more studies that I have written and more freebies on my blog!

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These are beautiful words. Thank you for sharing your heartache with us and for demonstrating how gratitude can coexist with grief.
Thank you for participating in our Grace & Truth Link-Up! I’m excited to feature your inspiring post on my Pinterest board—view it here: https://www.pinterest.com/embracingtheune/grace-truth-christian-link-up-featured-posts/. Maree